Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.

White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."

What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.

Disabled man stands up.

Blind man: “You can stand?”

Deaf man: “You can see?”

Mute man: “You can hear?”

Disabled man: “You can talk?”

Doctor: “What the actual fuck?”

Other doctor: “FUCK THIS, I QUIT!”

Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.

  • 8

    • What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?

    They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.

    I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.

    As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.

    As an Autist, I find these jokes really funny. Thanks for the early 13th birthday present, ya'll :>

  • 4

    • A disabled man stands up.

    A blind man says, "You can stand?"

    A deaf man says, "You can see?"

    A mute person says, "You can hear?"

    The disabled man says, "You can talk!"

    Doctor: "What the actual f**k"

    Hi, I'm new here and I'm 11. I'm just bored and want a girlfriend.

    Does anyone have Snapchat or Twitter? I can show you what I look like ;)