Worst Jokes Ever
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
What's the difference between a UKIP voter and a shopping trolley?
Some shopping trolleys have minds of their own.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a joke, so are you.
Mike, ID is coming tonight.
Jesus told me if I believed I would live for eternity. I believed, but at 97 I died...
I think Jesus is broken.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Stop acting like an owl!
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.
What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!
Let me tell you a joke about pizza!
Never mind...
It's too cheesy.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies? Windows plays the shutdown music.
So, a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."
Friend: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Short.
Me: Short who?
Friend: Short you!
Me: 🙁
Friend: 🤣
The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."
Why are your eyes blue? Cuz they have food coloring in them.
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?
The dry bear.
What do sheep hate?
Their enemies: goats!
My bird. PRETTY BIRD! PRETTY BIRD!
Others CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP!
A hillbilly female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.
Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree, and so she could live forever.
But I'm not gonna lie, it was a nice toasty fire...