Worst Jokes Ever
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
Why did the blind kid drop his ice cream? He got run over by his mom.
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.
B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
C is for Clara who wasted away.
D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.
F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.
G is for George smothered under a rug.
H is for Hector done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.
J is for James who took lye by mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.
N is for Neville who died of ennui.
O is for Olive run through with an awl.
P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.
R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who perished of fits.
T is for Titus who flew into bits.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain.
V is for Victor squashed under a train.
W is for Winnie embedded in ice.
X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.
Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.
Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.
I was gonna clean my room
before I got high.
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Masturbation is better than rough sex.
What is the similarity between women and freezers?
We like to put our meat in them.
What did the knight say when he went to bed?
"Good Knight!" lul
Your mum's got big tits.
White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*
Natives: Can y-
White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.
ASDA.
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, I tried. I tried harder this time. I'll try again. Sorry, I can't delete things.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
My boy is so distracted and the kids are doing great. I will be make $500000.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He was stuck in the crack.
So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
Steven Hawking walks into a bar... no, I'm just kidding.
What’s the cow's favorite place to go? The moovies!
Why did the cow eat?
Because it was hungry.