Worst Jokes Ever
Q. What do you call a goose that thinks he's a goat?
A. A Billy Goose.
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
What does the policeman say to the jumper?
"Hey! Pullover!"
How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.
Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”
How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.
Why did the fish cross the sea?
To get to the other tide! 😂 😂 😂
Why are Communists considered the left?
Because they can’t do anything right.
What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?
A plane wingless.
Why do people think that monsters are scary? Cuz they are so stupid.
I went to the eye doctor and I couldn't read. They showed me a picture of a birthday cake and I thought it was a menorah!
"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"
So, my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.
What is black and at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking's after a fire.
"I hear you asking, 'What's your favorite instrument?' The Trombone."
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dishes."
"Dishes who?"
"Dishes a bad joke."
What has 8 legs and 2 ears? A dog.
What kind of number hates nuts?
17.
A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.
The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.