Worst Jokes Ever
Sex.
Bill, that's racist!
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
What do you call fake noodles?
Impasta!
"Time"? More like waiting.
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own.
Q: Why did Billy drop his ice cream cone?
A: He has turrets.
Girlfriend: Am I pretty or ugly?
Boyfriend: You're both!
Girlfriend: What do you mean by that?
Boyfriend: You're pretty ugly!!!
"We've invented the spade!"
"Oh wow, this is ground-breaking!"
Why did 7 kill 11?
Because now 7 was even.
Two hats are next to each other. One hat says to the other, "Stay here, I'll go on ahead."
You might find this joke a rib-tickler, but I sure do.
What do tampons and your sister have in common?
ABBaS.
Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?
Q: What will we give to a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid.
Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?
Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!
Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?
Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!
Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?
Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
I was going to tell you a joke about paper, but it was too TEAR-ABLE. HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"