Worst Jokes Ever
So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says, "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimer's." The old guy replies, "At least I've not got cancer!"
Did you know that the Royal family like carnivals?
Princess Diana was really fond of bumper cars.
There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.
Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.
What did the kangaroo 🦘 bring to the cookout?
A jump rope!
What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?
Bisexual.
Knock knock.
"Cow goes."
No, silly, cows go moo!
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.
Your forehead is so big, the moon landing was there.
Bessie Coleman - I don't want to be a flier cause I am African American.
Yo mamma is so dumb, she will watch Disney Junior all night long.
A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...
Why was the fart on Kickstarter? He just needed some gas.
Why is there only 363 days in an orphan calendar? Because they don't have Mother's Day or Father's Day.
How can you tell when your sister is on her period?
Your dad's knob tastes funny.
Your mama so fat that when she went to McDonald's, they said, "Sorry, you've had enough, ma'am."
I'm a recovering cake addict.