Worst Jokes Ever
If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered "suislide"?
Asking for a friend.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”
Being gay sounds like a pain in the ass.
You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed, but you only have 2 bullets left. What do you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
What do you call a group of redneck superheroes?
The Inbredibles.
Kenny is living with his girlfriend now.
He just moved back in with his mom.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions, which made me cry.
Onions was a good dog.
What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of comedy? Stand up.
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
A professor was talking about the American dream. Then, he asked the German exchange student if there was a German dream, to which the student replies, "We did, but no one liked it."
When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?
I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.
Why did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?
So you could read her lips.
What's the difference between a white and a black fairytale? White begins with, "Once upon a time..." Black begins with, "Y'all motherf...s ain't gonna believe this sh.."