Worst Jokes Ever

Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.

*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****

Ccdddfrtyyhhgfdderrrrtyu.

Hi! 👋 I love! 💕

I love birthdays 🍰

A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”

Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

Because he only comes once a year.

Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.

Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"

What is shark's favorite day?

Chewsday.

Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?

It had a ruff night. 😂

Why did the toilet paper not make it across the street?

'Cause it got stuck in a pothole!

Where do astronaut cows go to get milk?

The Milky Way!

Why was the cow afraid?

Because he was a cow-herd!

You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.

Fat girls give the best head because they are hungry and eat the most dick.

Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.

Time for you to stop looking at jokes on worstjokesever.com and go to bed!

Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.

So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.

This didn't actually happen.

Why do orphans have to be homeschooled?

Because they can't be home schooled.

"Hey Modda, I'm hungry."

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because he can't find home.