Worst Jokes Ever

We saved a transvestite in a tight mini skirt from a tree.

I thought I showed a lot of balls.

We saved a Swiss flag from a house fire. I thought that's a plus.

Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.

Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.

Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Nevermind, it's POINTLESS.

Chuck Norris trained Dude Perfect how to do it.

What do you call funny waves? Wave Chappelle.

Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?

Nobody knows!

What did Santa say to the rain? Go away!

Why are fire trucks big?

To hang out with the firefighters!

Police: Where do you live?

Me: With my parents.

Police: Where do your parents live?

Me: With me.

Police: Where do you all live?

Me: Together.

Police: Where is your house?

Me: Next to my neighbor's house.

Police: Where is your neighbor's house?

Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.

Police: Tell me.

Me: Next to my house.

Police: *Arrests me*

First human comes.

Sans: That was pun intended.

Fart jokes are so popular because they are real stinkers.

I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"

Yo mama so hot, she can fit in a mug.

We don't read backwards.

I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"

Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”

Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.

Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 80 people.

Then it exploded.

A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flying around about six inches above the water. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal."

There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal."

There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal."

There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal."

There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal."

Then it all happened.

The fly dropped six inches.

The fish came up and caught the fly.

The bear came out and caught the fish.

The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich.

The mouse went for the sandwich.

The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond.

The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.