Worst Jokes Ever
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
There were two twin brothers, Lucas and Marcus. Marcus got a girlfriend while Lucas stayed single.
A few weeks later, Lucas was caught kissing Marcus's girlfriend, and Marcus comes over and says: "Babe, I know we're twins, but I'm Marcus, and that's Lucas you were kissing." And his girlfriend looks at him and says: "I know."
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort it.
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Honda? Just the Honda.
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: They can't find home.
Why did the orphan want to become a prostitute?
To get a daddy.
I'd tell ya a poop joke, but you're my favorite turd.
No one has my back like my dad.
What does Mrs. Grapes đ love the most?
Raisin' kids.
Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."
She said, "Who's there?"
I said, "I Eat eat my mop."
She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you?
I'm a heterosexual man that is so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
GOOGOO?
RTY!
Why canât orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parentâs signature.
My aunt worked as a human cannonball.
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.
My sis came up to me and said, "Mom told me to take the trash out for the rest of the year."
"So, uh, you free tomorrow?" đ
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Not Sally, she doesnât have any arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She doesnât have any arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus.