Worst Jokes Ever
Why don't chickens and sheep get along?
Because they have beef between them.
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
I made a house for orphans and...
they had no clue how to use it.
Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school?
A: Anywhere she was homeschooled.
Best friend: Let’s get tattoos of our parents.
Orphan: I don’t have parents.
Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.
Just look up texting jokes. Don't ask why, just do it.
Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.
Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol
Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!
Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD
Why did the nose cross the road to find the person who "nose"?
What does a rock and a girl have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?
They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
I do not know.
Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too!
Did you know that Helen Keller had a twin?
Yeah, Helen ate her in the womb.
Victims of 9/11 are the fastest readers. They went through 94 stories in seconds.
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because everybody that can run, jump, and swim is already in the U.S.
Why did the lion say, "I'm faster than you," to the cheetah?
Because it was Halloween!
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.