Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
Hi, I did not get your text. I texted you when I texted you. You are not [responding].
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.
Why can't blondes write comments on the jokes on this site?
Because they don't know what 2 X 4 is.
I was gonna tell a baby joke, but I had to abort.
What falls but never gets hurt? Snow.
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
Because they needed someone to call "daddy".
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
What do orphans do when they get a phone? They press the home button.
I am a dead baby. -end joke-
What time is it when a rooster sits on a fence? Morning.
What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? Time to get a new fence.
What time is it when a lawyer sits on the fence? Time for an elephant to sit on the fence.
Just laugh.
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My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.
I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.
What do you call an owl with armor?
A Knight Owl!
What is the difference between cremation and smoking?
While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.