Worst Jokes Ever

Why was the elephant woozy?

Because he was trunk.

How do pedophiles follow the law?

They drive it slow in the school zone.

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"

Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...

Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.

Why did the hobo go back to the future?

To stop himself from wasting all his money on a rigged casino machine.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

'Cause they don't know where home is.

How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?

There’s a stairway to heaven.

A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

Johnathon

"I fancy Hunter, my big sugar daddy," said the orphan, clearly lying.

Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock? It’s a little meteor.

I can tell you a pun about a pencil, oh! Never mind, it’s pointless.

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"

She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"

Question: What's the smallest thing on earth?

Answer: Your brain.

I took 7 coins from someone. He even came back from the dead to get them.

Yeah, Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah.

I gave her everything. She took my heart and left me lonely. I've been broken, heart's contentious. I won't fix, I'd rather weep. I'm lost and I'm found, but It's torture being in love. I love when you're around But I fucking hate when you leave. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah.

My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.

Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.

I told my sister a Dairy joke.

She said it was cheesy.