Worst Jokes Ever
What does a wife and a boombox have in common?
They only work when you beat them.
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
Why can an orphan only get an iPhone X?
Because there is no home button.
I didn’t eat breakfast because I’m starving myself.
How many babies does it take to paint the walls red?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Why was the stadium so hot?
Because all the fans left!
Q: Why do birds need feathers?
A: To cover their butt. Quack!
Q: Why do birds need feathers?
A: To cover up their butt quack!
Have you ever seen Helen Keller's dog?
Neither has she.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
9: I am higher than you.
8: No, you're not!
(8 flips to his side)
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...