Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the skeleton have no friends?
He was a boner!
Heheheh!
Ah, see ya soon kiddo.
I'm going on break.
I'll give you some fried snow later!
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
What do you call chill legumes?
Hippeas.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
Alfred the Great was arguably the greatest king in England’s history.
The worst? Richard the Goat Fucker.
I like peanut butter and honey.
How do stars die? Usually a overdose in an airport.
Why couldn't the orphan use his iPhone 6?
He couldn't find the home button.
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
Why did the Titanic and the iceberg hate each other?
Because the Titanic hit it.
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
One of the most popular documentaries of the 2010’s was “Jiro Dreams of Sushi.”
One of the least popular documentaries was “Jiro’s Nightmare of Ass-Rape.”
Why does Jesus hate Skittles?
Because they fall through his hands.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Key.
Key who?
Key moo.
Some dude: Water you thinking?
Me: You're drowning in my head.
Never attempt to foreshadow your own death, you may end up regretting it. You can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if I’m wrong.
In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say it’s their harsh, economic expansion that’s unapologetic to the environment.
My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.
"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.