Worst Jokes Ever
Why are Democrats represented by the donkey? Because some Democrats can be such an ass!
Why is Santa so fat?
He only comes once a year.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they have to hit a home run.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, “She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife replies, “Change the damn diaper, you idiot.”
What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 Detour.
Why can't your nose be twelve inches?
Because then it would be a foot.
Why can't orphans have friends?
They will stay together.
Yo mama so hairy that bigfoot dated her.
Yo mama so ugly, it made the world stop spinning.
You are annoying lolllllllll.
I can cry, but I don't have eyes. I can fly, but I don't have wings. Who am I?
A cloud.
When I mist, I miss.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
How do you find a blind man on a nude beach?
It’s not hard.
Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.
This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
Why do orphans not play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today.
Now they call him Hot Wheels.