A man walks into an AA meeting and asks for a roadmap.
Worst Jokes Ever
Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: The highway.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.
I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.
What does a Mexican not like in their drink? Ice.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?
A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.
What does the depressed person say to the happy person?
"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."
Person one: Why did the boy go home?
Person two: Why?
Person one: Because he had PHOAM work to do!
I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣
I started crying when dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
What did the nose say to the finger?
"Stop picking me!"
Why can't blind people fish?
Because it was "see food."
Advertisement: "What's in your wallet?"
Me: "The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)"
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
If you ever had your nipple ripped off by a possum, you might be a redneck...
What did the pig say when he was in the sun?
I'm bacon.