I bought some sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day.
Worst Jokes Ever
Error code 404. "Will to live" not found.
Smileandtalk.exe has stopped working.
trolololololloollllol
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?
"Full House."
What do the initials NOW stand for?
(A.) National Organization For Women
(B.) National Organization of Whores
(C.) All the above
Answer:
Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.
Remember kids, ejaculate, then evacuate.
What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?
Look at that dino-sour!
I posted on my Facebook account that you have a picture on Facebook.
Who eats sleeping? A robot.
An alligator is in a class, turns out he likes teaching!
What do you call an alligator that likes donuts? A donutator!
A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down:
TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY". OK!!!
Five people went to a store and asked for a menu. The waitress said, "I will be right back."
What do a blonde and a doorknob have in common?
Everyone gets a turn ;)
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my sister?
There is no difference.
What did one cheese say to the other cheese?
"Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.
The more they smile, the less they see.
Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.
Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"