How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope they hung themself in...
Worst Jokes Ever
A duck walks into a bar. The duck says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No." Then the duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "NO!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No, and if you say that one more time I will nail your bill to this bar!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any nails?" The bartender says, "No." The duck says, "Well then, bartender, got any bread?"
Why doesn't Africa have pharmacies?
Because you can't take drugs on an empty stomach.
Jasper doesn't like little girls and Bin Laden.
Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What do you call a train that likes toffee?
A chew-chew train.
Bored?
Burn an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What did the bus driver say to the lady with one leg?
Hop on.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
An autistic kid hit me, so I kicked him back and he died.
If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂
What do you call a banana that peels itself?
Appealing!
When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.
If I send a clown to deliver flowers to my wife...
...is that a romantic jester?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
When you realize the shuttle blew up.
Then you realize you're on the shuttle.
Jesus is a rock music fan.
Because he likes Nine Inch Nails.
What did the bank say to the person?
Bank you very much.
Yo mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.