Worst Jokes Ever
Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.
Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?
Class: A cow says, "moo moo."
Teacher: Good.
Teacher: What does a sheep make?
Class: A sheep says, "baa baaa."
Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?
Little Johnny: A pig says, "Put your hands up and get against the wall you black mother fucke*!"
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
Why can’t an orphan play soccer?
If he can’t find home, he can’t find goal.
I ate all of your mommy's orphans.
Well, if someone ever calls you gay 🌈🏳️🌈, just say, "Well, at least I'm straighter than the pole your mommy dances on." 🤣🖕
What did Steven Hawking say when the WiFi cut out?.........Nothing.
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mother!
Mother who?
It's your mother.
I had a dream I was a muffler last night...
I woke up EXHAUSTED! 😂😃
Guys, can we stop this stupid drama? I just wanna post my "Doin' Your Mom" lyrics and funny jokes! Please stop it!
Lenda: Hey, can you help me with my homework, please?!
Genda: Okay, and if I do, you won't make a fuss about it!
Lenda: I'll try!
3 mins later.
Genda: THAT IS NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER!
Lenda: Then what is 90 million?
Genda: WHA WHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lenda mocking her: WHA OH YEAH YOU ARE A TERRIBLE TUTOR!!!!!!!!
4 mins later.
Genda: What is the capitol of watchington?
Lenda: Uh.....Idaho!
Genda being sarcastic: Yes...it is not the capitol of watchington...BECAUSE IT IS A STATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lenda: Oh, you mean Iowa!
Genda: UHHHHHHHHHHHH CUSS WORD!!!!!!!!!!
Lenda: U can't help that I'm the smart one...okay sweetie now you go be dumb and I go be smart! LATER SISTER! Oh wait, can you help me with my homework?
Genda: NO! You the smart one so you do it!
If you drink, don’t drive. People cause accidents.
If you drink, don’t park. Accidents cause people.
Your mom's so fat, the photo from last Christmas is still printing!
I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.
Why was the belt arrested? Because it held up pants.
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.
I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.
I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.
I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.
I went on a ballooning holiday recently. I put on four stone.