What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
Worst Jokes Ever
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”
Q: Why did China take over Tibet? A: Because they china exploit foreign resources.
Btw, these are real facts despite the CCP's propagandist narratives. #FreeTibet #FreeHongKong #FreeInnerMongolia #FreeUyghers
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
I hate 9/11 jokes... They always crash and burn, like, dude, it's not funny?
I tried to catch fog today. I mist.
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!
Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?
Other person: Yes.
Sorry, I'm still working on it! 😅
Yo mama's so fat, a man has to bring climbing equipment to kiss her on the cheek.
Why did the skeleton want a friend? Because he was feeling bonely.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
What happens when an alien connects with your device?
The alien says on your device: ".-- . / - .-. .- ...- . .-.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- .- -. -.-- / -- .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-.. .- -..- -.-- ..."
What is the funniest joke of all time?
Your face.
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type...
His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
Q: Why did China take over Tibet? A: Because they china exploit foreign resources and keep it for themselves like bitch ass jerks.
Btw, these are real facts despite the CCP ́s propagandist narratives. #FreeTibet #FreeHongKong #FreeInnerMongolia #FreeUyghers
Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a big bill.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
What is a glory hole at the adult bookstore used for?
campaign contribution to the Republican Party.