Worst Jokes Ever
Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
I have a friend who recently stopped smoking, and the withdrawal was causing hallucination. He went to my house and thought there was a shark in the pond in my backyard. So, I would like to dedicate these lyrics to my friend: "I see a dreamer over there by the water!"
Which is better looking, girls or women?
Be careful, because I heard that NASA is going to send a rover to Uranus.
Your forehead is too big. I can see my future when it shines.
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.
Never got a mother's love, lol.
My dad left me, lol.
None of these jokes are funny.
What flavor do you buy an orphan?
Self raising.
"Hipity hopity, get the f*ck off my property!"
My grandad was shocked to learn that lightning can strike in the same place twice.
Shut the f*** up, I am an orphan!
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.
She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
In jail, why is the white guy scarier than the black guy? Because the white guy actually did something.
Why was 10 afraid?
He was in the middle of 9/11.
5 knock knock jokes from best to corny.
1. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little help getting in the door.
2. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Scold. Scold who? Scold outside, let me in!
3. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Mikey. Mikey who? Mikey isn't working, can you let me in?
4. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Says. Says who? Says me, that's who!
5. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Voodoo. Voodoo who? Voodoo you think you are, asking all these questions?
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.