Worst Jokes Ever
I walked to the milk store and did not see my dad.
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
Why can't you go home tonight? Because you haven't got a home, it's moved.
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!
My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.
So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.
When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃
When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟
Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.
Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
What has 8 heads and no legs? A monster.
What did I do with the internet?
Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.
I just wanted to write something random.
And now my wife is dead.
(Non-edgy joke.)
Don't make a person look a fool when you are the real one!
It's been a while since I've talked to either Prince or tj. Do any of you boys wanna chat? Plapls?
Normal person: "I'm perfect!"
Goth person: "Nobody is."
Johnny, Johnny. Yes, Papa? Eating dick? Yes, Papa.
Mom!