Worst Jokes Ever
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
What starts with "P" and ends with "E" and has a million letters?
Post Office.
Kid: Hi Mum!
Mum: Hi, Loser!
Kid: Why?
Mum: You loser, why? Hahaha!
Kid: Waaaaaaa!
I know this is not funny, but who cares?
My sister's boyfriend is pissed cuz I fucked his girl.
A man can form Jupiter girls came from Venus, and other genders came right from Uranus.
What did the egg say to the other egg?
Nothing, they can't talk.
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
This is a classic.
Why did the Dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are picked.
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attached to his nutty wuttys. It's driving me nuts!
A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says, "Problem??"
Yo mama!
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school.
At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.
Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.
Q. Why can't orphans play baseball?
A. Because they don't know where home is.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!
Where are virgins usually born?
Virginia.