This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
Worst Jokes Ever
There is a dark alley. Who do you call?
Batman.
I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.
Where does Kristen Stewart get her virginity from? She gets it from her mama and papa.
The other day this duck came by the gas station. He asked the cashier, "Do you have any duck food here?"
The cashier said, "Hell naw, I got no damn duck food. This the gas station, not no damn swamp, and I ain't ya mama."
Then the duck asked him two more times, and then the cashier said, "For the last time, no, I don't have any duck food here for you, ok? If you ask me again, I will put you in the oven and deep-fry you like Kentucky Fried Chicken."
I have a taste for some roast duck until the feathers will pop right out and say, "Quack, quack."
There is an upside to being an orphan.
Every bag of chips is family size.
Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?
Because they hate their lives and want to die.
Yo mama so skinny, she choked on a SINGLE STRAND OF SPAGHETTI!
Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking has ever watched Avengers: Endgame... Oh wait, he can't.
Why can orphans go to Thacker Jewelry?
They love to see the whole family.
So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.
What do you say to a depressed person?
"I like ya cut, G."
Where do rabbits sleep?
In the junkyard outside.
I have a girlfriend with a big dick.
How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.
What is a rabbit's favorite drink? Hare wine.