Worst Jokes Ever

What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, it just waved.

My teacher: Time can't count.

Me: Every second counts.

My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!

What is white and sticky?

Glue.

Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?

Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.

Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg":

"I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing without a few ice Bergs."

Why do planets circle the sun?

'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.

Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?

Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?

Son: Mom, what is money made of?

Mom: Paper.

Son: Where does paper come from?

Mom: . . .

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

If you play games, go play on your sister.

My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"

What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.

Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"

Student: "I'm not going."

Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"

A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.

My hair strainer is hotter than you.

Stop doing these orphan jokes, please, Rob.

What kind of instrument is always having to go potty?

A pee-ano/piano.

What kind of paper gets stuck to your foot?

DUH! A sticker.

What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?

"I'm totally dogging it today..."