How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating.
Worst Jokes Ever
What's yellow and can't swim but screams when it goes under?
A school bus full of kids.
It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.
Why did they only come home with 3 fish?
(Answer)
There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.
If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
Why did the actor fall through the floor?
He was just going through a stage!
Why do I have the urge to stick a chicken wing up yo pussy?
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
Q: Why does an orphan do badly at Baseball?
A: Because they can't find home.
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.
Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?
Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.
Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.
Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!
Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.
Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...
NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
-->[]life death[]<--
Why did the orange stop? Because it ran out of juice.
-->[] go through the door if you can.
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they can't put a house.
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?
The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.