It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.
Worst Jokes Ever
People named Aaron are annoying. Why have two A’s when you can have none? (Ron)
----> [] get in the door.
My friend has a dry sense of humor.
Probably because her body was decomposed ages ago.
Me: *in a family meeting*
Mom: Ok guys...
Me in my mind: BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA
What do you call a lost Indian woman? Ms. Singh.
Holy cow!
Why can't orphans close their video games?
Because they can't find the home button.
Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.
When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.
A man gave me 1 dollar that was ripped and laughed away. I wonder why he did that.
He did that on purpose to trick me, then I met him in the threes.
What is Bugs Bunny's favorite dessert?
Chocolate carrots balls.
This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!
What is the difference between chocolate and sex?
I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.
This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.
My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.
Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."