What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
You're gay.
LET'S GOOOO!
Kid finds genie lamp, wishes to be Batman.
Genie: You're now an orphan.
Yo momma so fat!
Uranus is sideways and leaking methane.
Blake drinks Coke.
I am deciding to do songs on this app... so I am a type songs. If you want a specific song typed I will type just comment!
A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"
So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."
Roses are red, violets are blue. I've got 5 fingers, she will get 2.
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Moas didn't even know that existed!
There are 365 days in a year. Orphans have 363 because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day.
Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...
If at first you can't succeed, then wait to be the last!
During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?
One time my boyfriend and I were playing the tickle game and I tickled him on his thighs by accident, and I said, "Oh no, I am dead."
Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina, and then I moaned while laughing and told him, "STOP, please."
Then he said, "That's what I thought," and I was like, you cheated. He was like, "You first did it."
So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then I jumped on him and pulled his dick five times, and he screamed, and I quickly ran out and laughed. Then he ran to me, and I screamed, and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while I said, "Okay, okay, stop."
And he stopped and started sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while I said, "Please stop," and then I pushed him off, and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole, and I said, "Owwwwwwww."
Then he said, "Play with me, I'll fuck you up."
I said, "Ughh," and slapped him.
What is the cheapest meat?
"Deer balls," they're under a buck!
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*