Worst Jokes Ever
What's worse than depression & suicide?
Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.
Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?
What is one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in the school zone.
What did the Teacher say to the orphan?
"I am calling your parents!"
When you find out your great grandpa killed Hitler.
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?
An earthquake.
My mom said don't fuck whores.
So I kicked my step sis out the house.
My dad went to get milk from Tesco’s.
He never came back.
A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."
He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."
Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."
Me: I asked an orphan where his parents were. I also said that I promised to take him to them.
Orphan: They're dead.
Me: A promise made is a promise kept.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light!" she blocked the sun. Now we call her the moon.
EXPERIMENT SUCCESSFUL 😱😱 Scientists have created an element named Pessomium 😳😳
Characteristics: - Highly reactive only in Bolivia and Panama 😡🤬 - Turns invisible when in Brazil or Uruguay 🥵🤧 - Finished 😹🤕 - 0 protons 0 electrons 0 goals 0 assists 7 debuts 🥶
My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"
What’s an orphan’s least favorite beverage? Milk.
Yo mama's so ugly even cartoon cat eyes got little.
I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?
I wanna kick some balls!
Joe Biden's speeches are so motivational. In fact, I have been stuck at home these past few weeks, and his well articulated words were enough for me to muster up the courage to jump off of a 10 story building.
Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!
The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is...
Wait, where are we again?