Worst Jokes Ever

Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.

Orphan: But I don't have a mom!

How do you get away with murder?

Why can an orphan play baseball?

They don't know where home is.

Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"

Girlfriend: "No."

Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"

Teacher: Tell me a moral story.

Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.

Teacher: What is the moral even?

Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.

What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?

..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

If a priest listens to sad music in his church, he really enjoys being deep in minor.

What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?

Filipino.

They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!

How do I make my dick disappear?

I put it in your dad.

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

I wrote down a speech at home yesterday.

When I got to school, I was speechless.

Why do orphans cry so much?

They can’t find a place to go.

What touches kids and is made out of plastic?

Michael Jackson, hee hee!

What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire?

Hot Wheels.

What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.

Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.

How old are 9/11 victims?

"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"

What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?

First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.

It would have been better if Martin Luther King didn’t have a dream.

You know, for his sake.