Worst Jokes Ever
What's the definition of disgusting?
Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your IQ.
Why can't I be gay? I have nobody to call "daddy."
I wish I was rich and not poor and retarded.
Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
What do you call an orphan selfie?
A family photo.
So a kid was crying... I asked him what was wrong.
I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE!
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "Daddy~"
We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.
My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”
They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Mom! Mom! My classmates called me an orphan!
What do emos and a bird nest have in common?
They both hang from a tree.
I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.
She is not “fun to be around.”
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?
Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.
"You're the bomb."
"No, you're the bomb."
A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.
I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"