I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!
Worst Jokes Ever
Why can’t the orphan play baseball?
Because they can’t go home.
IAIAIICID
What do lovely men and tampons have in common?
Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
Well, being an American is just a joke itself.
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
Me: Spell "I cup."
My Friend: I see you pee.
Me: BOII YOU BETTER GIVE MEH SOME PRIVACY IN MY BATH ROOM!!!!
My Friend: Oh hehe O-O
This joke is like a vacuum cleaner... it sucks.
It's Caesar salad.
What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?
The tree leaves them hanging.
I got up one day; my neighbor was in my house and was going to take me and my mom out. I showed my mom and my neighbor a trick. They both liked it. I asked my neighbor, "Do you know any tricks?" He said, "Yes, in matter of fact, I could tell you what your mom had for breakfast." I said, "How?" Well, my neighbor licked my mom's ass and ate her pussy out in front of me. He told me my mom had pancakes. So we were in the car; I asked my neighbor, "How did you know what my mom had pancakes for breakfast?" My neighbor said, "Well, that is what your mom made me while we were waiting for you to get up."
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.
Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
Please don't get mad, it's a joke.
What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.
You look as fat as a pig.
What flavor of pizza did the Twin Towers order?...
Plane.
If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!
Where did the orphans go when the orphanage blew up?
Everywhere.
Why does Kermit like Miss Piggy covered in honey? Because he likes sweet and sour pork.
