Worst Jokes Ever
Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?
So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."
How are orphans and apples different?
One gets picked.
Dark humor leave if sensitive: Wives are like grenades: pull the ring, and the house is gone.
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
Your mom is a joke.
Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars.
Why can't orphans play paintball?
Because they don't have parent supervision.
The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."
The fish swam in litter and oh, dam!
The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."
Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?
Because it always cheated.
How did Jenson lose against a Cheetah?
Because he was a cheetah!
Why is Ollie so boring? He plays board games.
Why did the cheetah go to school?
To be a cheetah.
What is the second hardest thing in the morning?
Getting up.
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.
So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...
Why can't orphans go to Costco?
Because it's a family shop.
When you are in the legendary chest in Fortnite and no golden scar rage.
Yo mama is so ugly, she walked in a haunted house and walked out with a job application.