Worst Jokes Ever

Why is it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?

The damages are severe.

I got caught masturbating in the bath by my mum!

I said, "Mum, I’ll wash it as hard and fast as I want!"

Your hairline is so bent, not even NASA can find it.

Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.

More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.

Do you know why Santa's sack is so big? He only comes once a year.

I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?

Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!

Kid: Imagine being an orphan!

Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*

Kid: WAIT, WHAT!

I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...

I like it when girls poop, it's really hot.

I like the big butt orange holes when the brown farter juice comes out of the orange. I like [it] a lot 🤑 🤑 🤑 🤑 🤑

I get a big weiner when I think about big farting girls.

The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.

What can’t orphans do in baseball? Go to home.

Why can’t orphans go on a field trip?

Parent signature __________

When a kid says, "I'm a pedophile," it means that he has a crush on one of his classmates.

When an adult says it, he is accused as a rapper.

Q: What do you call a nun in a pool? A: A bath bomb.

What is the most useless part of a vagina?

The woman.

What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?

They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.

What's big and round?

Mine and not yours.

If Jesus had a gun, what would it be? A nail gun.