Worst Jokes Ever

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

Wipe his ass.

What is a cow’s favorite newspaper?

The Daily Moos.

Adin, you should consider eating pencil lead, you fat cat lover, only if you're the new Adin from FF though xoxo da babby.

I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"

I slit my wrist and said, "THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE!" So I did it again, but with a knife and said, "NOW *THAT'S* A LOT OF DAMAGE!" I then put watertight Flex Seal on the wound, and it didn't seal.

Little Jonny Bad Ass was sitting on a porch one day, and a preacher was in the house. Little Jonny Bad Ass had to use the bathroom, so he bangs on the door saying, "Mom, I have to use the bathroom!" His mom says wait. So Little Jonny Bad Ass saw a hat on the step. He looks around, pulls his pants down, and shits in the hat.

A few later, the preacher comes out and says, "I see you have my hat!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Yeah, I caught the world's fastest bird!" The preacher says, "Well, let me see him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "No, I don't know." Well, the preacher says, "I'll put my hands by the hat, you lift, and I'll catch him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass lifted the hat and the preacher clapped his hands, and Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Now see the bird don't shit," and ran.

I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"

My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.

What do you call a woman with one leg?

Eileen.

Why didn't anyone care about the circus?

Because it was irr-elephant.

My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.

So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.

Why did the doctor get mad?

Because he was losing his patients.

I am in trouble. My mum asked me to get six cans of Sprite.

But I got seven Up.

If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

What’s an orphan’s favorite movie?

Spider-Man: Homecoming.

Women getting paid is bad, women should not get paid...

Why can't orphans play cricket?

Because they can't find home.

poop i eat it for dinner i eat it at night yet it never comes out of me? how is that possibul?

pOOp

Q: What’s the difference between orphans and apples?

A: Apples get picked.

Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a dinosaur?

You'll get jur ass kicked.