Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans love school?
'Cause people actually come back.
I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"
Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. Why? I don't know Y.
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.
During the Great War, a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.
He says: "You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *He didn't stop firing.*
When the moon hits the earth,
IT Moon-chan kissing Earth-chan.
Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!
Why are the towers working out? They have big thighs!
Why can't women just shut the fuck up! I hate women. They need to know their place and stay in the kitchen and be baby makers...
Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on Saint George's Day.
Irishman: We called our daughter Valentine since she was born on Valentine's Day.
Scotsman: We named our son Pancake because he was born on Pancake Day!
I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."
Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?
Because no one wants him.
What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?
Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
I'm at school and this website isn't blocked, and I need help on who did 9/11?
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:
I got it from her when I was born.
One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"
His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."
The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."
One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"
One day little Jonny is in class. It is the second day back to school. The teacher is annoyed with the kids, so she goes to the front of the class and says, "If you think you are stupid, stand up." Little Jonny stood up.
The teacher asked him, "Why do you think you're stupid?" Little Jonny said, "I don't think I am stupid."
Then the teacher asked little Jonny why he stood up. Then little Jonny replied, "I just felt bad seeing you standing here alone."