Worst Jokes Ever
Uma Thurman's optometrist must have wide glasses sometimes.
What's the best thing about having sex with 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
What is an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
Little Red Riding Hood says to the wolf: "What a big dick you have!"
Wolf: "The better to f*** you with!"
Quote Of The Day:
It's okay to struggle.
It's not okay to give up.
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
Hey guys! Ello here with an update!
I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately, so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to Downtown Disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that. Then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay 'til midnight, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!
OTHERS (MOTIVATED): If I had FLYING as a SUPERPOWER, FALLING would be the BEGINNING STAGE.
ME (DEPRESSED): OK, GOOD IDEA! LETS FALL OFF THE CLIFF AND FLY TO HEAVEN!!
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Why can't an orphan have an iPhone?
It has a home button.
Yo momma so fat, she tried to eat a pie chart.
Q. Why did the orphan rob a bank?
A. To feel wanted for the first fucking time.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a Muslim pilot.
Would you rather listen to Justin Bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible?
They're the same thing.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make it clap until its parents come home.
Yo mama so dumb, when Fox Five said it's chilly outside, she brought a bowlllllll!
Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.
Roses are red, violets are blue, all these orphan jokes have ruined this site. Fuck you!
Yo mama so stupid that she farted on yo face for no reason.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"