What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Worst Jokes Ever
Went to see a psychic the other day.
I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"
So I turned around and left.
What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.
You wanna hear an orphan joke?
Okay, here it goes:
You.
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
Guess why orphans can't play baseball? Because they don't know what home is.
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
My name is Mr. Cheese, but your jokes are cheesier than me!
What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?
"I guess orange is the new black."
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
Knock knock.
Me, a person: Who's there?
A: Deez nuts!
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!
A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Why did Beyoncé say, "to the left, to the left"?
Because women don't have rights.
Why can't an orphan go to a family reunion?
It has no family.
How do you fit 3 gay guys on a barstool? Flip it upside down.
You were born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.
