What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
Worst Jokes Ever
What do Nemo and an orphan have in common? They can't find their parents.
What do women and dog turds have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
If I fall in love with my depression, maybe it'll leave me too.
(Took this from my other account @Toby :) btw)
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
Why did Orphan become famous?
Because he didn't need parent permission.
TommyInnit is a joke.
Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don’t have mothers and Father’s Day!
I like telling dad jokes.
He laughs at most of them.
Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.
There used to be two of them, now it's a sensitive subject.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't make a 9/11 joke?
Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?
Me: I'm just BONELY.
Sans: Good one kiddo.
What do you call it when orphans take a family photo? A selfie!
What do you call Canadian weed? Canadabis.
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
Why do orphans love baseball?
Because it gives them a home to run to.
Me: Dad, my phone is broken.
Dad: How?
Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.
Dad: Stupid.
What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.
Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?
She has.
What's harder than steel? Michael Jackson at a playground.
