Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so fat, she can’t even fit in the living room!
What's an emo's favorite game?
Limbo.
(If you don't understand the joke, go look up what Limbo is.)
Dammit, I hanged off their nose off.
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, Daddy came in with the lady next door, and they started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off Daddy’s clothes, and Daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of Daddy and started...”.
The mother cuts him off and says, “Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” A couple hours later, the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face, shouting, “I’m leaving you... Go ahead, Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door, and you both started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off your clothes, and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing Mom did with Uncle Joe last summer.”
Yesterday I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.
What’s under the bottom?
Your legs.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they finally have someone to call father.
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
I finally stopped drinking for good.
Now I purely drink for evil.
Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot some kids inside of you.
Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
What do you call an orphan with parents?
I don't know... what?
Kidnapped. :)
What is an emo's favorite game?
Hangman.
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.
Why did UK want Northern Ireland for more s***?
Why did Russia put war on Ukraine for more nuts?
How do planets have a baby?
They have spasex.
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!
Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.