Worst Jokes Ever
I like dicks... sporting goods.
Another condom name is "Orphan's Home."
What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
I kept asking these kids where their parents are, and they started crying. I walked away laughing, thinking I love my job at an orphanage.
The orphan asked a genie to become Batman. Then he went home and saw his parents dead.
Why are bees' hair always sticky?
Because they use a honeycomb...
Q: What do you call a security guard at Samsung?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
Facial detection? More like racial detection.
What did a bee who was interested in philosophy say?
"To bee or not to bee."
Roses are red, violets are blue, Mike Pence's hair is made of glue.
Yo mama's so fat, there's not enough yo mama's so fat jokes to tell how fat she is.
It's weird being an autistic eugenicist.
On one hand I want pussy and on the other hand I don't wanna pollute the white race with my genetic filth.
What makes a nuke and divorce the same?
It only takes one of each to end your life.
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't have a home plate.
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
The emo kid asked the tree for a high five. The tree left them hanging.