Worst Jokes Ever
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
... family photo.
JFK and Abraham Lincoln were terrible presidents. It's like their heads were empty.
What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
Why can't orphans get a job?
Because they don't have a home.
The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.
This stuff is messed up, you people.
Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
A boy tried to give a tree a high-five, but instead, he ended up hanging.
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just sit there and cry in the dark.
You are so ugly when you gave birth to your baby, you gave it carpet burn.
You are so ugly, when you went to a haunted house, you came back with a job application.
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
You are so fat you were able to occupy Wall Street all by yourself.
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
Fred says, "Have you heard the rumor about butter?"
Bob says, "Umm no."
Fred then says, "Ah, okay then I won't spread it."
I just got kicked out of the fucking library for putting the women's rights in the fiction section.
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.