Worst Jokes Ever
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
R. I. P. Roll in Peace.
Why don’t orphans play the game of hide-and-seek?
They won’t be found because no one will look for them.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.
What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew? The answer would be a comb or a piano, but technically, if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them, they have teeth but can't chew with them.
Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?
Because he didn't land either.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Urmom.
Oh, ate the cheese? Urmom.
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
Hi, welcome to Mario's pizzeria/abortion clinic.
Where no fetus can beat us, and your loss is our sauce.
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.
Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"
Not Stephen Hawking.
What's another nickname for a flat emo?
A copping boars.
I'm writing a movie about 9/11. It's called "September 11th Two Thousand Fun."
What do you call a Mexican who's lost his car?
Carlos.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?
You'll Never Walk Alone.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.