Worst Jokes Ever
Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.
What did Grant say? "I'm gay."
Me: I'm afraid of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
Jesus got rejected. A few years later, he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.
It's too long, sorry. >:)
Why does Batman only wear black?
Because he's emo!
What do you call a dipshit?
A Charlie.
What is an orphan's family tree? A stump.
What is an orphan's least liked meal? Family dinner.
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Smell mop.
Smell mop who?
Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it only went halfway.
Why are New Yorkers so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers!
There are three people on the steps of Heaven. God tells them all he is having a good day and if they make him laugh by telling him how they died, he will let them in.
The first one said, "I just finished a long day of work and I get home, and right as I stepped in, I knew my wife was cheating on me. I searched everywhere and I couldn’t find anybody, so I got a drink and went to the balcony, and then I saw him, hanging off the ledge of the balcony. I kicked his hands, but he wouldn’t fall, so I threw a Refrigerator at him, and I fell with the Refrigerator."
God busted out laughing and let him in.
The next person walked up and God told him the same thing he told the other person. God told him that he didn’t think that he could make him laugh more than the first person. The second guy said, "So get this, I’m a window washer on the 8th floor. I’m washing the windows like normal, and this enraged psychopath walks up and starts kicking my hands, and then he throws a refrigerator at me and I die."
God bursts out laughing so much to where he falls off his chair, and he lets the guy through. The next guy comes up and God tells him the same thing he told the last two people, and he tells him that there is no way that he can make him laugh more than the other two did. So he starts talking. "So get this, I’m in a refrigerator..."
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.
Wanna know something funny?
Me, because I'm funny looking.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball? Because they can never find home.
Why do emos have friends?
So they can hang with each other.
What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough.
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)