Worst Jokes Ever
When it's ready for pickup today, I have to get my stimulus payment for a while, and then we'll go to bed... 🥱🥹🥺
Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?
Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.
My birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
I stole one's balls.
What's white, yellow and goes 40 mph?
A train driver's egg sandwich.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.
I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.
My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
Look in the mirror.
What's the definition of disgusting?
Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your IQ.
Why can't I be gay? I have nobody to call "daddy."
I wish I was rich and not poor and retarded.
Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
What do you call an orphan selfie?
A family photo.
So a kid was crying... I asked him what was wrong.
I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE!
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "Daddy~"
We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.
My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”
They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Mom! Mom! My classmates called me an orphan!