A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
Worst Jokes Ever
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
Good Morning, Sleepy-Head!
Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?
Parental Login: __________
What do you say if you are raped once but feel raped twice?
"I was raped raped."
I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close the casket.
My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day.
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."
Why did the priest want to learn how to play the organ?
He wanted to be able to finger A minor.
Could a phone booth also be called a chatterbox?
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
Why is a ball rolling when you put it on a hill?
Because it is circle.
I got kicked out of a library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.
Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.
The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.
