Worst Jokes Ever
You're so weak, someone breathed on you and you flew away!
You were born so fat they needed two cranes to carry you.
Why is the Pentagon mad?
Because it didn't get two pizzas, but only one plane pizza.
Why is my plane delayed?
Because someone hit the Sears Tower.
Old ladies are non existent.
The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."
What do you call basketball for disabled people?
Rocket League?
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
It looks like Will Smith slapped your hairline so hard that the dinosaurs can see it now.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
What kind of car does Jesus drive?
A Christler.
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't make a home run.
What's a Fortnite player's favorite era? The 90s!
What’s the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.
What do you call sweaty titties?
Humititties.
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
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