Worst Jokes Ever
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
Why was the chicken screaming?
He had an egg stuck in his butt.
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
What do clothes and emo kids have in common?
They both get hung.
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
Goofy ahh jokes below.
What type of car did Hitler drive? A gas-guzzler.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a train.
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
Why can orphans not play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Did you hear about the baseball game between America and Ethiopia?
America - 8
Ethiopia - didn't.
Guys stop before I tell my parents!
Your Nan is dead.
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.
My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.
How does a tree access the internet?
By logging in and branching out!
Q: Why can you be rude to an orphan?
A: Because who are they gonna tell their parents?
What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three equals six).