Worst Jokes Ever
Why was the apple 🍎 sad?
Because he got his peelings hurt.
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.
He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."
But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"
Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."
Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
What is Saturn's favorite song?
"7 Rings."
Presidents are normal, physically.
Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.
Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.
Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?
Isabell Leal is ugly as f*ck.
Six was scared of seven because 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because he was caught between 9/11.
What is a pile of balls?
What are the four letters you don't want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
When is the best time to go to the dentist?
2:30.
Honestly, Ukraine is just built to annoy Russia.
What is Jesus’s Favorite Exercise?
CrossFit.
Best thing ever right here.
So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.
If you take an emo kid grocery shopping.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.
I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"
He started crying.
What is an orphan's favorite TV show?
"Alone."
What don't Rick Astley and the Twin Towers have in common?
One won't let you down, while the other will.
Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?