Worst Jokes Ever
Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"
Anne Frank is still the Nazi hide-and-go-seek champion.
I rate it 9/11.
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?
A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
Finish the lyrics: Can I put my...
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not your grandpa, he crashed the plane.
Happiness belonged to you, then gave you depression.
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
What do you call an emo that cuts too deep? Gushers.
I copied my friend's work. It's not like the teacher can tell my parents.
I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
None of these are jokes... they're all facts!
Moby Dick's father's name...
Papa Boner.
Woman do have rights!
How does a disabled person play chess?
I think you forgot they don't have legs.
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!