How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
What do you call dead?
(Not Michael Jackson)
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...
She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite song?
"Touch Me (I Want Your Body)."
Why don't Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
Pass me the sugar, Sugar!
Pass me the honey, Honey!
Pass me the teabag!
So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
Michael Jackson.
You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.
Everything is made in China... except for baby girls.
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my sun."
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"
The lice in your head are starting to concern over deforestation.
Never search up "monkey with blue balls."
An orphan girl wanted a family so she was raped until pregnant. Problem solved.
When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.
When I woke, I was being sexually abused.
BULLY vs. QUIET KID
Bully: I bet your dick is as small as a Tic Tac.
Quiet Kid: That's why your mom's breath smells so good.
QUIET KID WINS
What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?
"STUPID VINIGGER!"
