Worst Jokes Ever
I found a chest of gold in my garden the other day. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.
What’s the difference between Rosa Parks and Muhammad Ali?
One fought for freedom, the other fought for fun.
Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
What does a Chinese man say to his partner when having sex?
"Ching Chong Soc Mai Ding Dong"
Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”
Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
I ate a sock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
What does an Arab prostitute say?
"Bomb my pussy!"
Yo mama is so ugly her hairline is receding just to get away from her face.
Your mom is so fat that she only knows three letters, which are "KFC."
You’re so ugly, I can see why your dad left now.
What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?
A slow clap.
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.