Worst Jokes Ever
I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.
I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.
How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.
Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.
I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.
My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.
I finally got a girlfriend.
Her name is Remington Model 32.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
What do you call a gangster involved with anime? A Cuz-Player.
Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?
Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.
You go h dichotomy lol what do you want to what what’s the name for the address for sure what’s what I name it says I name it lol I don’t o I have to get r CB n nu set set e Okay okay I’ll be at my place.
Your forehead is so big, Mr. Clean thought he would hire you!
What are Africans' favorite game to play? Hungry hippos.
You mehheheeheheeeehehehe.
Orphans are so vulnerable; they have no parents to tell. - Masai
I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.
She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."
When Peter Pan jumped off the Twin Towers, what happened? He Neverland.
My grandpa said this generation relies too much on tech, so I unplugged his life support.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared?
Because 10 was in 9/11.
Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.