Worst Jokes Ever
Why are orphans so lucky?
Every crisp packet is family sized.
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."
Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
What happened when the emo went through the self-checkout?
Two beeps went off.
Deez nuts!
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦♂️
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
How do you spell ihop?
Then spell ihop and say "ness".
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call a father.
Segma says, "32!"
Ligma Says, "And?"
Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."
Your forehead is so big that it has five different time zones!
Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."
The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."
Teacher: What does the pig give us? Student: Bacon.
Teacher: Very good. How about the chicken? Student: Meat.
Teacher: Good, now what would a fat cow give you? Student: Homework.
Trump cheated so much he cheated himself out of an election!
Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!
I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Suck its cock.