Wesley, stop saying your life is a joke.
Jokes have meaning.
Worst Jokes Ever
Don't give up on your dreams...
Keep sleeping.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
No.
Neither has he.
"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"
If I get 50 likes on this, I swear. 🦋
Are you free tomorrow?
No, I’m expensive, sorry. 💵💸
What do you call security guards working outside of Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy. 🌌
What do you get when you cross a Jamaican with a ginger?
A gingerbread man.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."
So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."
Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."
Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.
Me: And I don't speak idiot language.
What language do billboards speak?
Sign language.
What's gayer than a gangbang in a man sex ring?
Not slapping the ass at Hooters.
Just ask your dad.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Like if you have a dick, or you are an orphan.
Maggot.
Why do orphans hate plane rides?
Because there’s no home to come back to.
What did the shoe tell the feet?
"Put me on your feet!"
Heaven is like university: no one gets in.
