Worst Jokes Ever

What is an Italian massage?

An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.

I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.

Me: Hey, are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yeah, what gave me away?

Me: Your parents.

What's the difference between E.T. and an orphan?

E.T. can phone home.

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... He died of hearing aids.

You're so poor. You're just PO, you can't even afford the other O and R.

"Dinosaur killing with a 2x4, no more purple dinosaur!"

I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.

Q: What do orphans call a family reunion?

A: Me time.

A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.

What's full of lard and is reserved as Putin's cannon fodder?

Your mum!!!

A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"

And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."

And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"

And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."

What comes in and comes out, but you should never miss it?

Any ideas?

SHIT!!!!

I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!

Me: Ok so let's get this straight....

Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.

Me: But I didn't do anything?

Cop: No.

Me: So why are you arresting me then?

Cop: Imma tell you a story.

Me: Oh no.......

Cop: I know, now come on.

Me: Ok where?

Cop: My room.

Me: Which room?

Cop: My bedroom.

Me: 😱I'm a girl.

Cop: So am I, now get in.

Me: But I'm 9.

Cop: I'm 59.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Well, at least one gets picked.

What did I say to the bridge?

Bye, bridge.

My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.

My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.

You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.