Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One is loved.
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"
What is an army member's top drink?
WARter.
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar.
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes.
When she got the puppy, he was nice, but the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play Barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food, you know.” The parents only answered with “Oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy...he won’t need feeding for years.”
What do orphans eat for breakfast?
Daddy-O's.
Why is it so easy to roast an orphan?
What are they gonna do, run home and tell their parents?
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.
(If you see this joke with a blue "S" that's also me. I just have an acc now.)
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate you 9/11.
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
Kid: I forgot to flush the toilet, sorry I just forgot.
Adult: Just like your parents forgot YOU 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
You think you're funny? Look at your hairline; it looks like a McDonald's sample.
Your hairline is so bent, the McDonald's logo hairline made fun of it.
-E-
What do you call a vagina with teeth?
A vicious cunt.
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer; the other's just a watermelon. 😁😁