Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.

A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.

What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?

They both take it in the back and go woop woop.

I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"

I would like to tell more jokes about 9/11, but they always crash and burn.

What did the north tower say to the south tower?

"You're too young to smoke."

How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.

Why can't orphans be gay? They have nobody to call "daddy."

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Not your dad.

Satan and the devil are alter egos.

What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?

Depends on who's sucking.

Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"

Two cows are grazing in a field.

One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"

The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"

A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."

What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?

The second-hand book was loved once.

Finish the lyrics: Can I put my...

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not your grandpa, he crashed the plane.

What do you call an emo that cuts too deep? Gushers.

I copied my friend's work. It's not like the teacher can tell my parents.