To all my haters, keep sucking. I'm about to cum.
Worst Jokes Ever
The Twin Towers collapsed faster than my grandma did.
What is the difference between your dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
The only thing they can see are their chopsticks.
I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.
"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."
The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/
How do you blindfold an Asian?
You use dental floss.
What do you call Snoop Dogg’s giant turd?
Poop Logg.
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
What’s brown, fuzzy, and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.
How do you cut your grass without a lawn mower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
OLD KLADYBOFSIYTFJT
Why did the bee go to the doctors?
Answer: Because he had hives.
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!
Suck my balls!
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
Why can't all orphans learn about ancient Egypt? Because they don't know what a mummy is.
